I’m glad to say there isn’t much more to say on the topic now – but what’s left to say is probably the most important things. Me and Toby had a long talk about the situation and the experience. His concerns were absolutely noble – I mean, there was a backlash against me and we both knew there would be. I didn’t expect that I’d be facing it without him saying something directly, but he wanted to avoid being specific in case that made things worse for me. In doing so, it made me feel more vulnerable and because I was becoming increasingly stressed, communicating that to Toby became ever harder.
There’s nobody to really blame in this, not Toby nor the community at large. The overflowing amount of compassion and kindness that people have shown in response to was something I was never prepared for. In the end, it came down to a breakdown in communication, I think, and the effort to prevent me coming under attack left me more vulnerable to it. I was afraid Toby was unwilling to protect me. I know he’s a decent person and what he did was out of compassion, not embarassment but fear is very, very powerful and with everything that had gone on in general, fear spoke ever louder til it became unbearable.
Please, do not view Toby harshly over this. He is a good dog. We all love goatmom, right? Like, the whole experience with the demo is what got me involved to begin with. Toriel tries to protect us from a dangerous world but its a world we’ve got to out into. Nobody is gonna judge Toriel for trying to do what she thought was best, right? She doesn’t want you getting hurt. And chances are, you’re gonna get hurt out there – god knows it took me a couple of goes to get through a couple of the bosses. Its a mistake but, you know, mistakes happen and it was compounded by my increasing inability to discuss it because of mental state. I don’t blame him for it and for what I’ve gone through, I forgive him for. I, too, am sorry for any hurt I have caused for him and anyone else involved. Y’all are good people and I genuinely consider it a privilege to have worked with you despite things. I’m sorry for putting you through the wringer.
Toby very kindly cleared things up as well in his own post for which I am eternally grateful for. He’s also personally put to rest the idea that I was outed by anyone, the idea of which seems like it was based on communication issues.
I’ve said all I need to on everything I think, unless Toby feels I’ve missed anything. I owe him a debt of gratitude for all this and I wish him all the best in every future endeavour.
Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me. I feel safe again and I can go back to loving Undertale whole heartedly again and close the book on all the stress I’ve felt. Please be kind to Toby and everyone.
It seems there’s been a lot of hate directed towards the character “So Sorry” and its creator, Sam. This is very disappointing to me, as UNDERTALE is basically a game about accepting and befriending people that are different than you. Everyone has the right to like or dislike anything they want. But there’s no reason to turn your dislike into a personal attack. Sam’s inclusion was a result of his honest support for a game he really cares about – which all of you care about, as well. And I accepted that inclusion. So, “So Sorry” is as much a part of UNDERTALE as anything else.
The reason I didn’t make a statement about this before was because I was worried that calling attention to the issue would just incite more harassment against Sam. However, it seems my silence may also have enabled harm against him, and for that I apologize. Just to clarify, potential harassment against Sam was also the reason I offered him a refund and asked him if he wanted to change his character to a different one. I promise I was acting without ill will in the way I perceived as the best for everyone.
Regarding everything else, I have talked to Sam and we are cool. That’s all I have to say. Neither of us want any hate directed towards the other. Or towards anyone, really. Please respect that.
sooo i heard people are now harassing Toby over the So Sorry thing on twitter. Like, calling him a piece of shit and stuff.
Harassing either party makes literally none of this better, for anyone, in any way. Maybe Samael should have created a new character for his backer reward; maybe Toby shouldn’t have put off talking to Sam about his concerns for so long. What happened happened, and being a rude internet dickwad doesn’t undo it or make the other party happy.
honestly just really like undertale 